My Path to Reclaiming Pleasure and Loving Myself Fully
For much of my early life, my relationship with self-pleasure was shaped by confusion, shame, and distorted beliefs. I believed masturbation was something “dirty,” a fallback for boys who couldn’t attract women. There was a strong undercurrent of shame around it — especially with stories from my youth associating it with something creepy or deviant. At the same time, I struggled with premature ejaculation, which only added to my feelings of inadequacy and shame.
I went on a mission to prove myself by chasing sexual conquests, engaging in drug-fuelled sex, and even using numbing sprays or alcohol to try to last longer in bed. But the disconnection from my body and sexuality just grew stronger. I had no healthy role models and, like many others, was left to figure it all out alone.
The Need for a New Kind of Sex Education
When I reflect on those years, I realise how much was missing — not just from my own understanding, but from society’s approach to sexuality. We’ve been conditioned to view pleasure and sexuality through the lens of shame, guilt, and secrecy. Today, the situation hasn’t improved much. We’re in the 21st century, and yet:
- 34% of youth online are exposed to unwanted pornographic content.
- 93% of boys and 62% of girls are exposed to internet pornography before the age of 18.
- Nearly 50% of young men watch pornography weekly, and it has become a primary source of “sex education” for many. (Source: Relationships in America Study)
Pornography, with its distorted portrayal of sex, teaches us to seek pleasure externally, leaving us disconnected from our own bodies. And when it comes to formal sex education, it’s still lacking. There’s little focus on self-love, consent, or the exploration of pleasure as a natural, healthy, and sacred part of life.
My Awakening: A New Relationship with Self-Pleasure
Everything changed for me when I embarked on a 30-day Orgasmic Yoga journey during my training in Sexological Bodywork. ‘Sexological Bodywork is a ‘somatic sex education’ client-led practice that uses mindful touch, breath, movement and sound to support sexual healing, embodiment, pleasure, and deeper self-awareness.’ I wasn’t expecting the first assignment to be mindful masturbation, or I prefer to say a reframing of masturbation to a self-loving meditation.
This was the first time I began to truly understand what self-pleasure could be: an act of self-love, a way to reconnect with my body, and a path to healing. It wasn’t about masturbation as I had known it. It was about slowing down, creating a mindful practice, and using breath, movement, sound, and intentional touch to explore my body and life force energy.
I started to peel away the layers of shame and conditioning, beginning to understand my body in a deeper, more compassionate way. One moment stands out during the 30-day practice — a day when I was invited to explore my anus, what I now call the “rose bud.” This brought up a flood of old fears and shame. I procrastinated, locked my door, and had flashbacks to homophobic slurs and past discomfort. But through journaling and intentional touch, I began to release those old stories. I discovered the deep relaxation that part of my body could offer, and I came to see my body as a source of wisdom and pleasure.
Releasing Trauma & Reclaiming Our Power
That experience, along with other moments of exploration, made me realise how much trauma and conditioning our bodies hold. We carry shame, old wounds, and deep-seated fears around our sexuality, often without even knowing it. But as I explored my body with care and curiosity, I began to unravel those knots of tension and pain. It wasn’t just a physical practice — it was emotional, mental, and spiritual.
The 30-day journey was a revelation. I had never touched my body with this level of care and curiosity. No need to reach an outcome, no need for ejaculation, just the intention to be with myself fully. And in doing so, I found that my body held deep wisdom that could only be accessed through a patient, loving approach.
From Go Touch Yourself to Soul of Pleasure
After that initial 30-day journey, I dedicated myself to sharing this work with others. I created Go Touch Yourself, a broader global program that reached hundreds of people and invited them to explore their bodies and reclaim their pleasure. While Go Touch Yourself was expansive, I realised that many people, despite their excitement, struggled to complete it fully. The truth is, transformation takes time, and many of us need more structure and simplicity to lay a strong foundation for deeper exploration.
That’s why I’m returning to the simplicity of the 30-day journey with soul of pleasure. This is about providing 30 choreographies — one for each day — designed to guide you step-by-step into a new relationship with yourself and your body. I want everyone to have the opportunity to experience what I did: a practice that rewires how you relate to yourself, your pleasure, and your body. It’s a devotional practice, one that doesn’t overwhelm, but instead lays the groundwork for lasting change.
With soul of pleasure, I’m offering the structure, guidance, and simplicity I wish I’d had when I started my journey. This isn’t just about physical sensation — it’s about reconnecting with your body, releasing shame, and rediscovering the joy of self-love. It’s about planting a seed that can grow into a lifelong practice of deep connection and transformation.
An Invitation to Soul of Pleasure & NAKED Soul Haven
Now, I’m offering this experience to you. soul of pleasure is a 30 or 21 day-day self-loving devotion designed to reconnect you with your body, reclaim your pleasure, and awaken your life force. It’s about taking time to love yourself deeply, without shame, and embracing the full aliveness of your body.
And if you feel called to continue this journey, soul of pleasure is also the gateway into NAKED Soul Haven — a space where a dedicated community of like-hearted souls come together for deeper exploration. Inside the haven, we journey through continued learning, live community calls, and guest speaker sessions, all while holding the shared intention of embodying love and sovereignty in every aspect of life.
If you’re ready to explore your own pleasure, to step away from outdated conditioning and into a deeper connection with yourself, I invite you to join me and a growing community of Pleasure Alchemists. Check out soul of pleasure LIVE edition, with 4 weekly LIVE calls and guided practice sessions. You’ll be supported through each stage of the experience and welcomed into a safe, brave space of transformation.
The guru is within — your body holds the wisdom, and together, we will uncover it and rise as love.
“I had always felt like something was missing — a part of me that wasn’t really there. But during this practice, something finally clicked. I realized that I’ve been longing to feel loved and that the only way to truly experience love is by loving myself. This journey has been more than just sexual; it’s about getting to know the real me.”
— Markus
If you are also intrigued by Sexological Bodywork, you may enjoy listening to “The Sexbod Series,” a special 8-part mini-series within the ‘Simon Transparently Podcast,’ co-hosted by myself and great friend Simon Heller, Sexological Bodyworker and Somatic Sex Educator leading trainings in Zurich and South Africa. This powerful series explores the intersection of self-love, sexuality, and the body through the lens of Sexological Bodywork.
Thank you for reading and being present here. For the past decade, ‘NAKED The Retreat’ has been a transformative 7 to 10-day experience, inviting participants to peel away layers of conditioning in order to awaken as love. With 17 retreats and 3 gatherings behind us, I can say it has been an epic and profound adventure for the soul. I am deeply humbled by the love and blessed by the souls I’ve encountered along the way. NAKED was born as a response and offering to the world — a call for more play, aliveness, and deeper connection. After the breakup with the co-founder in 2021, I paused the retreats. In 2023, I reintroduced NAKED with three retreats in Portugal, Sicily, and South Africa. These retreats were a time of inquiry and exploration into what NAKED might evolve into.
Through those beautiful and challenging experiences, it became clear that something new was emerging. Slowly, ‘NAKED Soul’ came into being, and ‘NAKED Soul Haven’ arose as the safe and brave space for those ready for this next stage of evolution. The ‘soul of pleasure’ has now become the gateway for those who feel called to awaken alongside humanity, reclaiming the innocence of our loving hearts and living in our NAKED truth.
LOVE Simon x
